Philosophies of Life

We all have our own philosophies on life, and we believe that this is what guides us.  There are thousands of philosophies, but we will just cover the prevalent three here  .  .  .  you can live for yourself, live for others, or strike a balance between the two. 

Applying Your Philosophy

Unfortunately, no one can think of their philosophy every minute, and live their life accordingly.  Some do better than others, and actually have their beliefs ingrained into their system, so that they do not have to think about  .  .  .  their philosophy - is them.  But that is rare - most of us set high ideals for ourselves, and then react to situations from our gut instinct.  We have this vision of warmth, love, helpfulness, and caring.  Then, when static arises - we get mad, shout, slam doors.  We believe in never giving up  -  but when things are tough, we get depressed and lie in bed.  So, our philosophy is a goal, but is rarely followed closely.

There are certainly those who rarely ever think about philosophy.  They do what they want to do, and they live for number 1 - themselves.  Actually, that in itself is a philosophy, and it is called "Eat, Drink, and be Merry"  -  but they do not ponder it.

Eat, Drink, and Be Merry

This philosophy conjures up images or the evil King Nero, with his large silver flask of wine, chomping down on a giant turkey drumstick, while the wine and grease runs down his bib.  At the same time, he delights in watching slaves being murdered and eaten by lions in the arena.

Most of the modern-day followers of this philosophy have trimmed it down, and taken out the horrific evil -  but some evil is still there - they just don't perceive it that way.  The modern follower may have the despised bumper sticker, "Whoever Dies with the Most Toys, Wins".  It sounds awful, yet it is so, so common.  They become transfixed on success - and their definition of success is primarily, material.  They are the true "keep up with the Jones" folks.  They want to have it all - the SUV, the designer clothes, the lavish vacations, boats, etc.  Make no mistake about it - the majority of people in America follow this creed.

We all know them - and we can even see this happen with the poor.  What is the first thing a poor man will use a sudden influx of cash for?  For example, let's say he won $30,000 in the lottery.  Quite a few would buy a Cadillac.  Forget investing, forget saving it for his kid's education, and forget refurnishing his Mother's apartment.  Not all would do that, of course, but it is a common sight, to see Cadillac's in the ghetto's.

The suburbanites are the worst.  They live way beyond their means, and are typically in huge debt.  Yet they take out 2nd mortgages on their homes, so that they can install the Jacuzzi that "Fred has", or add the screened in porch that "Larry has".  Gather, store, attain !!!  More, more, more !!!

Only the truly rich folks can be excused - but only because they generally tire of "things", since they have it all, and have always had it all.  But they have other problems - you never see a rich guy that sends half his wealth to help others.  Even if he has one billion dollars, and would live in the lap of luxury for his entire life if he kept 100 million.  No one will ever give the other 900 million to those in need.  Why?  I cannot explain it, other than greed - pure greed.

These people remind me of when I used to watch ants on the sidewalk. Every once in a while you will see an ant struggling to carry a crumb back to the anthill. Like ants, they search for crumbs, and struggle to bring them back to their homes and store them. They guard their crumbs, constantly check how many they have have, and continually try to get more and more. The crumbs become more important than life itself, and whoever accumulates the most . . . wins. It is ever so sad.

Nevertheless, there is something to be said for one who lives partially this way.  Life should be fun, and owning some cool adult toys is a great way to go.  If you have nice things, but prioritize them down a bit - below family, below friends, below the heart and love  .  .  .  then you are on the right track.

Live for Others

Mother Theresa.  She is probably one of just several, who was truly able to apply this philosophy throughout her life.  For the rest of us, it's just not possible.  

OK, is it the way to go, then?  Well, the human being, and animals, have an instinct of self preservation.  This instinct, especially with humans - expands on itself, to mean self preservation and self indulgence.  It is completely natural to want to make yourself feel good.  It is natural to want nice cars, fancy meals, and luxurious trips.  It is also natural to want to spend most of your time with your inner circle of friends and family.  It is natural to want success for yourself, and to beat the next guy for a job promotion.

Conversely, it is unnatural to make things tough on yourself.  It is unnatural to skip Sunday's big football game, and go help out at the homeless shelter.  It is unnatural to hand money to down-and-out guys on the street, and when you run out, to go home and pack up sandwiches to distribute on a tough corner, downtown.  It is especially unnatural to travel to third-world countries, and spend years in a lean-to tent, doling out portions of four and rice from the back of a truck every day.  This is living for others  .  .  .  it is very tough, but it is also very rewarding.

So these people give it all away, they don't care about themselves, right?  This philosophy would seem to be totally devoid of pleasure.  But wait  ! ! !

Those that live their lives for others, feel much more pleasure than we do ! !  Have you ever given a bum more than a buck or two?  Try it sometime.  Hand a homeless man  a $100 bill.  He will be astounded, and elated.  You will feel great - you have brought an ear-to-ear smile on a guy who has a horrible life.  What a grandiose thing you have just done !!!

Now, multiply that feeling by a thousand, or a million.  This is what these good Samaritans experience.  And just like the high from a drug, the Samaritan high is addicting.  They feel in control, they feel above all the other mere mortals.  They are doing something, day in and day out  -  that virtually no one else does.  They have thousands in deep gratitude to them.

No, theirs is not a selfless life.  They have learned that by helping others, they create a wonderful, happy, feeling inside.  They also have true love for themselves.  After all, they are awesome !!  They are proud !!  They are the fabric of which these destitute peoples lives depend on.  This certainly cannot be viewed as a "selfless" cause.  

This type of life is a choice.  There are those that truly want to help others, and it is not motivated by the pleasure they feel from doing it.  There are also those that feel they are at a "higher plain" than the rest of us, and perhaps feel, in a religious sort of way - that their fate, after death, stands a very good chance of going North.    

Regardless, it's not my bag . . . and I know it's not your bag.    The vast majority of us concentrate our efforts on ourselves, and our families.  There is certainly nothing wrong with that.  The thing to watch out for, is not to go too far in either direction.  In that I mean - don't go to Kenya for 3 years to feed the starving while leaving your family abandoned  .  .  .  and don't buy a Vette, dump the wife, and date a harem of Bimbos while stepping on everyone's toes at work to get ahead.

There has to be a balance.

Balanced Life

This is it  - the goal to shoot for - to enjoy ourselves to the max, while loving and helping each other out in complete harmony.  An ideal program to follow.

If we were to draw a continuum :

Selfish  --------------------  Balanced  -------------------- Selfless

Most of us fall somewhere between balanced, and selfish.  The right-half of the spectrum has few occupants - we already know that selflessness is extremely rare.  But if we could nudge ourselves over in that direction, a bit towards selfless - an entire new world opens up.  We will feel worth, we will feel happiness, we will actually become more worthy as human beings.  The best part, is that in our hearts, we will know that we are living a solid, honest, and helpful existence, and with that knowledge we will come to love ourselves.  These are the people that leave a trail of positives as they weave their way through life.  These are the people that lie in their death-bed with a warm smile radiating across their face.

It is true that we help our immediate families out.  Sure, we do chores, and plan get-togethers and such.  However, we are ensconced in that tiny world, of our immediate family.  Sorry about the rest of the world, we gotta take care of our own.  You certainly can't save the world, but it's high time to start doing your part.

How rare it is to see the truly balanced individual.  Society does not encourage teamwork - not nearly enough.  They have created all sorts of competitive activities with awards, that make it very clear  -  look out for number one !!  When you are a child, you play games, where the winner is applauded, and the loser  .  .  .  oh well, too bad.  Adults go to work where there is the "Employee of the Month" program.  Rarely is the "team of the month" concept used.  Work places use the word, "Team Player", as a catch-all phrase.  But when it comes time for promotions  -  they have a series of one-on-one evaluations to decide who gets ahead.  They do not promote in teams.

Let us look at a fictional group of balanced individuals, to see the difference.  We will create a mythical technical company with 5 employees - all rare, in that they are leading a balanced life.  They are fulfilled internally (they have a lot of personal fun and pleasures, they have a close-knit family), and they are also fulfilled externally (they pitch in at work, they share information to help others, and they are concerned with strangers as well).  The personal and family life of each of these people would probably come close to the typical person.  That is not the area where most of us are lacking.  

What makes them different than most, and causes them to be balanced, is that they extend their caring and usefulness OUTSIDE of their family unit.  At work, they have a "mode operand us" where they cooperate closely as a team.  There are no promotions of individuals at this company, only demotions for selfishness.  In this way, as they work on projects, they never think of the project as "their baby".  When they must research information, they take the time to glean out the useless, type up the useful, and send it to the group when they are done.  Each employee has reams of documents, and they have shared them with all of the others.  In addition, they meet frequently, and socialize with one another, as they discuss their latest efforts, and make sure that everyone is kept in the loop.

Now, at this point, if one of them is out for a week - no biggie.  The others can take up the slack, since they are familiar with each others work.  In addition, they are all becoming very strong technically, since even though their own area may be narrow - they all share and learn from one another.  They are well-rounded, and the breadth of their knowledge is superb.  The group is cohesive, and their productivity and quality of work quadruples.

The other consequence, is more subtle, but what a fringe benefit it is.  They truly like each other !!  No one is out to get ahead of the others.  No one is back-stabbing.  Why should they?  After all, there are no singular promotions !!  The sharing of information, and the helping out, soon spreads to other areas.  They start to baby sit for one another.  They watch the game on Sunday at each other's homes.  They have a few brews after work.  

Their lives become successful, and the company becomes successful.  The balanced philosophy . .  a recipe for success and happiness.